A blessing and a challenge – for parents, that is how strong-willed children seem to be. The little ones who are resolute often know what they want and when they want it. They leave you wondering when they resist rules, question everything and push boundaries. Moms and dads ponder – are they raising a future leader or simply surviving daily battles?
If you are looking for a preschool in Bukit Timah, understanding these personality traits can also help when choosing the right learning environment. Truth be told, strong-willed children are not “difficult.” They are deeply independent, determined, spirited souls. You should understand that these are the qualities that can shape them into confident adults. You need to guide the often-stubborn little champs with patience and understanding. So, what should you do as a parent?
Understand, Understand and Understand More
Strong-willed children are good at deciding things themselves. Clarity might not be there, but once a resolute kiddo decides that he wants to play now and not slurp the soup, he won’t! If you’re wondering how to deal with talkative kids, your job is to channel their revolutionary nature and make them softer and a bit mellowed with reason and understanding.
So, you may often hear them asking things like:
- Why should I stop playing now?
- Why can’t I do it my way?
- Why do I have to eat this?
They are not defying you. Not always. They are often trying to understand why the world should not work as they want.
When parents respond with force, it leads to more resistance. Therein starts a power struggle. Nobody wins in that struggle. Understanding this is the first step for parents.
Stay Calm During the Storm
Strong-willed children are quick to sense frustration. They resist when their parents raise their voices.
Stay calm. It can send a powerful message, showing to your child that emotions can be managed. It does not mean being passive. It means being firm without anger.
Show that a calm voice can often do what shouting cannot. You can drive the message home, subtly.
Offer Choices Instead of Commands
Resolute children want to establish control. You should allow the tiny tot to make choices that do not harm the rhythm of his growth.
Let him wear the blue shirt or the red one – he is not acting adamant. He can have his say in his fashion choices – he is already a cute little rockstar! Does he want to do homework now or after dinner? Allow him what he wants. Give simple choices, let him have his own way sometimes.
Make him feel respected. Cooperation will come easier. Maintain the line, however. There is a line between allowing choices and being permissive, just as understanding how food and mealtime connect children can help create positive family routines.
The teachers at our boutique preschool near Bukit Timah impart the right knowledge and treat the children with empathy and composure so that things become easier for the parents to deal with their strong-willed children.
Pick Your Battles Carefully
Do not be angry with the tiny soul over small things. How does it matter if he wears mismatched socks? What will go wrong if he wants to eat rice before vegetables? Do not try to control every small detail. You will just exhaust yourself.
Save your energy for what truly matters. Be strict and uncompromising on important routines, values and safety. Everything else can bend a little.
Listen Before Correcting
They want to be heard. This is something common among strong-willed children. When they feel that you are genuinely trying to understand them, a child becomes more cooperative.
You can win them over with simple acknowledgment. When you listen to them, it does not always mean agreeing. It can simply mean that you recognise their feelings. The smile from within is really big in the cute little hearts.
When the little ones are listened to properly and they connect with you in understanding things, they become more eager to learn.
Appreciate Their Strengths
Resistance is fuelled by courage, persistence and confidence. Appreciate these qualities. Strong-willed children crave recognition. They want the world to accept their ways, their thinking.
“You worked really hard on that.”
“I like how you kept trying.”
Words like these matter. Recognise his strengths, so your child will learn to value himself, rising above conflicts.
Teach Problem-Solving, Not Just Obedience
Guidance – yes, blind obedience – that is a strict no-no for strong-willed children. Never say something like:
“Do it because I say so.”
That is the easiest way to put them off. Rather, involve them. Show them why they need to do it and why any other way might not be a good idea. Once they are explained the whys over and over again, they will stop questioning. They will learn to cooperate from understanding, not from fear, just as children at a Montessori preschool near King Albert Park are encouraged to learn through explanation and exploration.
Keep in mind, being resolute is not easy. It takes strength; the courage to go against the grain. As a parent, you should turn that strong will into one of their greatest strengths – with patience, respect and steady guidance.
We value each child and are all ears to all their needs at Whistle Woods Schoolhouse. If you want to find out more about us, visit us today!